Unexplainable

Gay's birthday today. Had a really wonderful time with the girls but my mood totally changed when I got home. I don't understand why I'm always the one having to please the rest. Why do I even bother to give in. I'm just so sick and tired of everything. All these nonsense I have to face, really, one day I might just explode :'(
It's so scary how I appear so happy in pictures, with friends but nobody really understands how I feel. This feeling really sucks. I just wish I had someone's shoulder to cry on. I don't wanna cry in the showers anymore. I have to stay strong.